| B: | 1. A 2. ontological imperative (2nd p. sing.). |
| Bad News: | news. |
| Bad-moth (n): | acherontia atropos |
| Baguette (n): | small hand-carried container. |
| Ballpeen (n): | The wrong appendage. |
| Baloney: | where some hemlines fall. |
| Banana: | degree in Newfoundland child care. |
| Bandolier (n): | 1. Robbie Robertson looking at an attractive woman 2. an Irish production of Shakespeare, closed by the censor. |
| Bank: | a mammonary gland. |
| Barbecue (n): | a waiting line of anatomically improbable dolls. |
| Barfly (adv): | 1. in a regurgitative manner. 2. (v/n) to regurgitate while/whilst telling an untruth. |
| Barometer (n): | device for detecting the presence of unemployed arts graduates |
| Barrage: | 1. when little girls are given tutus 2.(n) law school party 3. the legal union of two cold-sufferers 4. (n) dry-roasted peanuts, when a friendly discussion in the pub becomes heated |
| Bassetlaw: | just rewards. |
| Basturd: | piscine feces. |
| Batik: | echo location. |
| Beatitude: | posture assumed by a counterculture poet before addressing the Happening. |
| Beijing: | gradually changing colour to light brown. |
| Bellicose: | 1. the aggressive feeling one gets when one is knocked out by a campanologist. 2. an abdomen warmer. |
| Bernadette: | the act of torching a mortgage. |
| Bestiality: | selecting the finest of everything. |
| Bi-homophonic (n): | A person who has intimate relations with monaural microphones of either sex. |
| Bichon Frise: | unpleasant woman encased in ice. |
| Bigamist: | an Italian fog |
| Bignalistics (n): | the mathematical study of alcoholic liquid measures. |
| Bignall (v): | to make grand gesticulations signifying nothing. |
| Binding: | the satisfying sound made by junk mail. |
| Binomial: | what protesters chant outside McDonalds. |
| Bishop: | second-hand stall. |
| Black runs: | what you get from those little nibbles at apres ski parties. |
| Blatant: | insect squashed in a Batman & Robin style. |
| Bondage (n): | 1. An abundance of 007 literature. 2. the marks in one's diary that count down the days to the pay-out date of one's investments |
| Borage (n): | the art of sending people to sleep by talking at them. |
| Border Collie: | vegetable less inspired |
| Boston: | weight of managerial directive. |
| Brandy: | given to wearing clothes with prominent designer labels. |
| Bream: | a shining ray of light. |
| Briard: | an ancient French cheese. |
| Broad-minded (adj): | all the chaps round here. |
| Broadband: | a female orchestra. |
| Broadcast: | a fishing programme for women. |
| Broadcloth: | the material covering a broadside. |
| Broadsheet (n): | bodily function performed by an Italian-American female. |
| Broadside: | hip |
| Broadway: | a mystery. |
| Brown: | the last in a series of n brows. |
| Brows: | 1. to forage for E's 2. Freeserve Anytime's darned two-hour cutoff again. |
| Buggery: | an unhealthy interest in cockroaches. |
| Bummalo: | a small boat propelled by the power of the buttocks. |
| Burglarize: | what a crook sees with. |
| Button: | The standard unit of mass for sumo wrestlers' derrieres. |
| By-laws: | legislation that makes it okay to get away from the wife's mother. |