| Earlier: | more royal than a sir. |
| Ebarass (n): | online nudity |
| Ebony: | a skeletal web-site. |
| Ecritoire: | European author of French farces. |
| Effect (n): | common Google misspelling of 'eff etc.' which means "here follows all the swearwords you know, and some you don't. Use your imagination." See also: Ineffable. |
| Einstein (person): | The German chap who got a reputation for buying only the first beer. |
| Elided: | he was firsted 2. he did not told the truth. |
| Elm: | 'ow a wooden ship is steered. |
| Emacs: | long raincoat worn by dirty old men when surfing the internet. |
| Emblematic: | trademarked machine that makes bumper stickers. |
| Emoticon (n): | tearful prisoner. |
| Encyclopedia (n): | 1. commemorative sign in a public loo, recording where Nicholas Syke left a puddle on the floor. 2 (n):disease affecting feet of wannabe Tour de France entrants. |
| Endorse: | 1. ass. 2. equine rear end. 3. half a pantomime horse. |
| Endoscope: | 1. an Italian suppository. 2. out of mouthwash (Can/USA) 3. the maximum extension of a spyglass. |
| Endothermal: | electrically heated knickers. |
| Endow (vt): | to give genital herpes to a man |
| Enpsalmble: | a musical group that plays only religious material. |
| Entry: | a portal for walking, talking trees. |
| Eor (v): | to pooh-pooh the options. |
| Erase (vi): | 1. to level a website to the ground. 2. to install emacs. |
| Ericsson: | Mac and Katie Kissoon's adopted dog (for tax purposes). |
| Escape: | 1. Superman's top. 2. full screen graphic. |
| Etymological (n): | Jamaican with more sensible eating habits. |
| Euri (doodah): | a bender of spoons. |
| European: | something worn by a clog, obviously (see Saboteurs). |
| Evelyn Wood: | malicious tree sprites. |
| Evolution: | the curliness of the letter "e" in lower-case format. |
| Exam: | a has-been. |
| Examination: | 1. a country or state which formerly doubted its existence 2. a former dyslexic cartoon. |
| Examiner: | used to work down t'pit. |
| Example: | a successful slimmer. |
| Exchange: | pre-decimal British currency. |
| Exchequer: | outdated spelling checker. |
| Excited: | previously, but not now, quoted. |
| Excrete: | used to live on a Greek island. |
| Excursive: | repentant user of profane oaths. |
| Execration (n): | downsizing. |
| Execute: | a good-lookin' bird wot used to be a bloke, innit? |
| Exert: | used not to be inert. |
| Exhausted: | retired from the bar. |
| Existential Quantifier: | an angsty accountant. |
| Exoscope: | formerly an Irish 'scope. |
| Expat (n): | an emigrated Irishman. |
| Expectorated Value: | the number of times, expressed as an average, that a baseball player spits during a plate appearance. |
| Explain (n): | one who has undergone successful cosmetic surgery. |
| Express: | 1. former foundry machine 2. former worker in a dry-cleaning establishment. |
| Extern: | a dead sea-bird. |
| Extol: | The amount you have to pay upon leaving a country. |
| Extraction: | additional time on the sports field. |
| Extravaganza: | for when only one vaganza isn't enough (See: Vaganza). |
| Exult: | a dead ult. |
| Eyebrows: | hinterleckshules. |
| Eyedropper: | a clumsy ophthalmologist. |