| Rabbitfish: | gamekipper's supper. |
| Random: | a condom with a ladder in it. |
| Rapport (n): | French musical artist who speaks, rather than sings, lyrics. |
| Razor: | someone who makes Mark's cellar floor bumpy. |
| Reappear (vi): | going back into the orchard to resume your fruit-picking. |
| Recently (adv): | the Astronomer Royal disguising himself as a tree. |
| Recreation (n): | The pastime of making things new again. |
| Rectum: | What the Indy 500 driver did to two cars. |
| Red setter (n): | brightly coloured jelly mould. |
| Regicide: | 1. the removal of a yet another nobleman (see Circumcision, Countdown, Deduction, Discount). 2. the removal of the host of a vile quiz show. |
| Reincarnation: | to restrain a flower. |
| Remiss (v): | to revert to one's maiden name. |
| Remission (n): | divorce. |
| Researching: | Stealing but with credit. |
| Reserve: | concerning an ISP |
| Restarant (n): | kwitcherbitchin |
| Restaurateur (n): | one who evaluates naps. |
| Reuben (v): | what rich young dandies do when they go out in the country for a lark. |
| Reverse (v): | rewrite to make inverse. |
| Revolution: | when the people rise and get out curly upper case "d" back. |
| Reward: | 1. another drawback. 2. to move a patient within a hospital |
| Rex Reed: | Command to an intelligent dog. |
| Rhettoric: | not giving a damn, Scarlett. |
| Rhinoceros (n): | person who finds large noses to be sexually exciting. |
| Rightondia: | a[n] Utopian country where everything is right-on. |
| Roman: | a mover of small boats. |
| Rotate: | menu. |
| Rotator: | 1. fish eggs and spuds. 2. a machine to spin spuds. |
| Rottweiler: | worse encryption system than Rot-13. |
| Royal Family: | an oxymoron. |
| Royalist: | what one hopes to get on if one is one. |
| Royalties: | weddings which are impossible to avoid. |
| Ruminants (n): | persons who never leave their studio apartments. |