| Saboteurs: | a Robot Wars team from Johannesburg 2. clog wearing Europeans (see: European). |
| Sagacity: | 1. Odin's birthplace 2. the capital of India's spinach growing region. |
| Santa Fe: | The method by which Santa knows who's been naughty and who's been nice. |
| Sargasm: | that which precedes "I'll have what she's having." |
| Sauvage: | a particularly vicious kind of pork product. |
| Scheming: | Simian downhill racer. |
| School run: | brat race. |
| Scofflaw: | a regulation prohibiting piggish eating. |
| Screwdriver: | trucker. |
| Scrotable: | suitable for carrying in a small sac(k). |
| Scrutator: | a spud d'amour. |
| Second serve: | RedHotAnt (the bastards) |
| Seismometer (n): | a device by which USians measure their mothers. |
| Self-effacement: | to justly humble oneself by sticking a four-letter word to one's forehead. |
| Selinity (n): | 1. what happens to an old dylsexic. 2. (n)What a Japanese feels after meditating. |
| Semantics (n): | se small insects infesting se humans. |
| Servant (n): | A small ISP. |
| Server (n): | The hemming and hawing you must do to get your ISP's attention. |
| Service (n): | 1. the tone of a response to a complaint to your ISP. 2. the reception such an ISP receives. 3. arctic ISP 4. a pornography server. 5. a gripping tale of the Middle Ages. |
| Servicing: | a low-class cake topping. |
| Serviette: | 1, a very small ISP. 2. a Russian ISP. 3. the national ISP of Lichtenstein |
| Servile: | 1. pertaining to an ISP whose usenet facility keeps one off apihna for two months. 2. (see second serve) |
| Servitude: | 1. eating the free CDs given out by ISPs. 2. what leads a waitress to sneer at you as she brings your drink. 3. my edible ISP. |
| Settee: | that which is indicated by a setter. |
| Sever: | farewell to arms (the hemming way). |
| Sewage (n): | the time of life when the kids can start earning their keep by making teatowels. |
| Sexton: | a very obese, yet erotically attractive, church caretaker. |
| Shaker's Pear (thingy): | a simple piece of wooden folk art. |
| Shay: | let's do it in the barn. |
| Sheikh's peer (thingy): | another sheikh. |
| Shelf Life: | insurance policy for the unmarried. |
| Shittah: | not an upshtanding pershon. |
| Shovel: | to push over a Spaniard. |
| Shrink: | where librarians skate. |
| Siberian Husky: | permafrog. |
| Silence: | the sound of being buried in an agricultural storage container. |
| Silly: | the lesser spotted eavesdropper. |
| Sine of the Times: | contemporary newspaper's opposite over hypotenuse. |
| Singleton: | 2000 pounds (US) |
| Skilled: | death by snakebite. |
| Slag: | to engage in sexual intercourse with the byproducts of steel manufacture. |
| Smee: | s'not him. |
| Smugasbroad: | Scandinavian female superiority. |
| Sociological: | an attempt to create a science out of vague guesses. |
| Sodality: | a club for teetotallers. |
| Solipsist (n): | Mouth fetishist. |
| Somersault (n): | an acrobatic expression of joy upon discovering a wide and diverse array of food seasonings. |
| Sound: | hunting dog with a speech defect. |
| Spade: | horse-racing tipsters' guide. |
| Spaniel (n): | loud javascript |
| Specific: | a certain part of a large ocean. |
| Spectator: | a spud with sight problems |
| Spell-binding: | the final task in the printing of a dictionary. |
| Sphincter: | 1. sister of an in-law. 2. an uptight, unmarried woman. 3. An old, unmarried Eqyptian lady. |
| Sphygmometer (n): | device to tell you that your date is not genuine (do not see sphygmomanometer). |
| Spokesman (n): | someone employed to read press releases announcing how well your bike-riding is coming along. |
| Sporn (v): | to mass advertise over the Internet for pornographic websites. |
| Stagnate: | pretentious prenuptials. |
| Stealthoscope (n): | instrument for listening to people as they creep up on you from behind. |
| Stereotypical: | just the sort of hi-fi system you'd expect. |
| Sterling: | a small dried cod, used as currency on some Pacific islands. |
| Stet (vt): | o write the word "stet". |
| Still-Life: | insurance policy for teetotallers. |
| Stir-fry: | fishy equivalent of gaol-bird. |
| Stores: | spots you can't get rid of. |
| Subliminal message: | A flier placed under one's door. |
| Subordinate Clause (n): | a North Pole labourer who helps Santa at Christmas. |
| Subservant: | (see second serve) |
| Substitute (n): | a below-par call-girl who stands in when your regular isn't feeling too well. |
| Subversive (a): | lousy poetry. |
| Suitable: | a settee, two chairs and something to rest your coffee on. |
| Superego: | Batman's conscious mind. |
| Supervise (v): | 1. to look after a woodwork class on the planet Krypton. 2. to undertake a legal action against a peeping tom paedophile. 3. this thing goes through an elephant's leg, man, I'm not kidding! |
| Surcharge: | The Knight of the Monetary Fee. |
| Surface: | The Knight of the Kisser. |
| Surfeit: | The Knight of the Walking Deed. |
| Surfing: | the Knight of the Forgotten Name. |
| Surplice: | The Knight of Politeness. |
| Surplus: | The Knight of the Additives. |
| Sycophants: | 1. (adj) exhausted by small insects. 2. (n) Pachiderms that kill people in the shower. 3. (n) Sycophants : Trousers worn by Norman Bates. |
| Synergistic (n): | a small insect which supplies energy for you to do wicked things. |
| Synergy (n): | the amount of effort one is able to put into doing something you shouldn't. |
| Syntax (gangster slang): | extortions associated with prostitution, gambling, &c. |
| Syria: | even *more* rudicrous. |